The Art of Having Fun

Shades of Gray: 10 Tips for the Class of 2018

by

6 years ago

Hi Everyone,

I hope you are having a wonderful weekend, thus far. Around this time of year...every year, this country celebrates our recent graduates of high school, college and other higher educational endeavors. Well, this year, I had the honor of delivering the commencement speech to the graduating class of 2018 at myalma mater, The Episcopal School of Dallas.In writing the speech and even more in sharing it with our future generation, I was touched by how sooner or later, we all come full circle in life. With that in mind, I would love to share the speech with you. I hope it registers and inspires you as much as it has me...

Just in case, you're more of a reader, here it is below, for your reading pleasure...

Thank you to the Episcopal School of Dallas for having me here today to give the commencement speech to the graduating class of 2018. I am delighted to see familiar faces in the crowd, including some incredible faculty who taught me when I first came to ESD in the 5th grade like Mr. Snyder my music teacher, and Mrs. Howell who taught me math in 7th grade (Algebra really wasn’t my strong point as she can tell you) and Mrs. Hefley who opened my eyes to the world of photography and changed the course of my life forever.

Looking out at all of you, and this incredible campus, it’s hard to believe how much has changed since I graduated in 2004. Change is a good thing and for many of you graduating today, there will be a lot of change happening in your lives very soon. It’s amazing and incredibly cool to learn that ESD now has a LGBTQ club, Spectrum. 14 years ago I was the very first student to come out publicly to my class in ESD’s history and it makes me incredibly happy to find out that things have changed and progressed to now have a club dedicated to this community. Considering the difficult history many students have faced and overcome, I think that deserves some recognition – I certainly am very proud of the school and students who have made this happen!

Though times have changed, the founding tenants of ESD have not and as the class of 2018 eagerly waits to receive the diploma they have worked so hard towards, it’s important you all take a moment to think about what you have become passionate about during your time at ESD.

I might have graduated 14 years ago but I once sat in the audience looking at my commencement speaker with the same big eyes I see out there in the crowd right now. I can see your eagerness, your fire, and your excitement to take flight and pursue a future that you believe in.

When I was a junior at ESD I took my very first photography class: Photography 101- an introductory to Black and White Darkroom Photography. Many of you graduating today have probably taken a similar photography class while at ESD—I actually still have the very first image I ever made with a pinhole camera that was taken of the chapel here at the school.

For me, this Photography 101 class was extremely exciting because let me tell you, I was so bad at my Art 101 class. I couldn’t paint if my life depended on it. Though challenging, photography came to me naturally and throughout my junior and senior year it grew from a class I was taking into a total obsession. I would spend every weekend shooting with my film camera and every afternoon after school developing images, watching them come to life in the developer trays in the darkroom. During my AP photography class I began submitting my images to competitions and received a prize at the annual Dallas Museum of Art’s Young Masters Competition—the very first prize in history of the DMA competition to ever be awarded to a photograph versus a painting. This award, though small in hindsight, really opened my eyes to think about a future in the arts and I began to question whether it was a viable career.

When it came time to apply to college my parents supported my decision to seek out a school that had a strong photography program. They also encouraged me to major in a broader Marketing Communications Degree as well; just in-case photography did not work out…. Oh parents, you all just can’t help yourselves.

During College, you are exposed to so many exciting things, and for better or worse, they help you grow. I was lucky to have found a passion early on but it still did not keep me from wanting to explore as much as possible. In-fact, I did five internships from the time I graduated ESD to the time I graduated college, all in different fields from fashion, to advertising, to marketing and public relations. Each experience opened my eyes to different career paths where I was able to decide if it was a good fit for me or not.

Though I was still studying and practicing photography, at the end of college I was lured from Boston to Los Angeles for an exciting internship on the Paramount Pictures Lot in Hollywood. Once my internship ended, the President of the company unexpectedly fired one of his assistants and overnight I went from being an intern to sitting on the President’s desk. As you can imagine, I was totally unqualified for the job and spent my nights practicing flash cards trying to memorize as many executives, directors and agent’s names as possible. My job was very interesting as I got to listen in on every phone call and take notes so my boss could remember all of the details of his conversations. Ultimately, I learned from start to finish how a major motion picture was made from a top-down point of view. Sitting in my large office, which was actually famous actress, Lucille Ball’s old office– my life appeared incredibly glamorous. When I talked to my parents on the phone I could hear their excitement for me and how proud they were; and I would just nod and tell them everything was going great when in fact, I was not as happy as I appeared. Every day I was surrounded by wonderful people who were incredibly passionate about the film industry and I began to realize that it was not my dream to be a film producer— it was my dream to be a photographer. Seeing this passion for film in my colleagues reignited my passion in photography and later that summer I got a weekend off and joined my family on vacation at our summer home. As they asked me questions about my job I began to tear up because I couldn’t lie to them anymore—I had to tell them the truth that I was unhappy and I wanted to switch paths back to what I loved the most— photography. This took a lot of courage but deep down I knew it was the right decision.

Well, it didn’t come as much of a surprise that they were concerned for me. At the time it was 2008 and there was a recession in the economy and telling anyone that you would like to go from working for the president of a major corporation to being a fine-art photographer is certainly alarming. However, my parents gave me their blessing and told me to go for it and if it didn’t work out, I could always get another job. For me, though, this was one of the most difficult decisions I had ever made and in turn, the most crucial turning point of my life thus far.

As soon as I left Paramount I took classes while interning for famous photographers in Los Angeles. I learned very quickly and began to submit my work to galleries. After only a few months a gallery in Beverly Hills accepted my work and offered me a gallery show. I was so ecstatic I couldn’t believe it. Even though there was a lovely turnout the gallery struggled to not only sell my work, but any work at all and as the recession carried on, the gallery closed just months later. I was disappointed but remained optimistic.

One day I found myself at a small Sunday flea market in West Hollywood with a friend looking for some furniture. I remember she said, Gray, look there aren’t any photographers here selling their work—maybe you could get a booth here and sell yours? And like that, a light bulb went off and I thought, you know what- she is absolutely right, just because I don’t have a gallery doesn’t mean I can’t sell my work. Well, before I knew it I was up and running and every Sunday for nearly two years I sold my work in a white 10x10 tent at the flea market. Though not as glamorous as my big office on the Paramount Lot, I was incredibly happy as I was doing what I truly loved. What was magical about the flea market was that I got direct feedback from people in the community about what they were looking for to hang in their homes and it helped me determine what kind of work I should be creating. One day a young woman came into my booth and asked me if I had ever considered selling my work online. I looked at her like she was crazy- selling art online? Who would buy it, I thought? She gave me her card and said to think about it. So, I called her up, and a few weeks later my work went up for sale online and dozens of pieces sold. I remember seeing the list of people who bought my prints and most of them lived outside of California and it was such an incredible feeling to think that my work would soon be hanging in so many houses around the country.

Soon after I became curious about the Internet and discovered another website that was focused on high-end home design. I sent a cold email to the generic inquiry email listed on the website and sure enough, the co-founder of the company wrote me back saying she would be interested in learning more. I googled the website and found out they were hosting a party at an interior design store in Los Angeles later that month and I set out on a mission to not only attend this party but most importantly shake her hand and introduce myself face to face. Luckily, my plan worked and she asked me if I would bring my portfolio to her office the next day. A few weeks later the website launched an event featuring my artwork and hundreds of pieces sold! It was unbelievable how powerful the Internet was and due to the success of the event they scheduled many more events with me. Over the next few months the popular social media app, Instagram launched and people began tagging and sharing pictures of my artwork hanging in their homes and naturally my social following began to grow. I remember hitting 10,000 followers and thinking oh - my - gosh, who are all these people out there?! It was all so very exciting.

It was also around this time that I went on a road trip with friends from Los Angeles to Las Vegas and arrived very late at night. The next morning I pulled back the curtains and was shocked at the view—we were about 40 stories high and directly below us was a giant swimming pool filled with guests splashing around and laying out by the pool. Completely mesmerized, I took a photograph of the scene from above and upon arriving back to Los Angeles, made it my desktop wallpaper on my computer. For months and months, I looked at the image of the swimming pool and one day a light bulb went off and I thought I really love this picture… maybe I just take more pictures like it. A few months later I found myself in Miami during an annual art festival named Art Basel and in advance I had researched all of the big hotels with famous swimming pools. So, I went to some of the hotels and asked the front desk if I could take a picture from the balcony of a hotel room above the pool— Something I thought wouldn’t be a problem. Well, I was wrong. They basically were like ‘who are you?’ and told me to get lost. I remember calling my husband and telling him about my dilemma. I mean I couldn’t believe I was in Miami and the swimming pools I wanted to take pictures of were right in front of me but I couldn’t get above them… and while on the phone with him I said, what if, what if I went up in a helicopter? I had never been in a helicopter before but it seemed logical. I googled Miami, comma, helicopter and called up the first listing that came up. The pilot answered the phone and I explained to him my situation and he told me that he also was a photographer and that he could remove the door of the helicopter and take me up to get my picture. I thought, oh - my - gosh, this is insane– but I have to do it! I met the pilot and nervously took off – as we flew towards South Beach where the large hotels were, an unexpected rain cloud blew in off the Atlantic and it started raining. I remember circling over the swimming pools and there were no people below as they had all run inside. Completely disappointed, I slowly started to accept my defeat when I happen to look up at the horizon and notice the huge sprawling beach. I asked the pilot if we could fly over to it and he said no problem. Though there weren’t any people, there were hundreds of beach umbrellas and chez lounge chairs and I instantly became intrigued with the colors of the umbrellas and repetition of the chairs laid out so uniformly on the white sand. I was instantly obsessed as my eyes were literally popping out of my head and as we flew back to land I scrolled through the pictures on the back of my camera and thought forget swimming pools, I am going to photograph the beach!

This was a huge turning point in my career and I set off on a worldwide crusade to photograph the most famous beaches around the world from the seat of a door-less helicopter. Luckily the online sales of my artwork helped me afford the costs of travel and thanks to the blossoming power of social media and Instagram, I was able to bring a growing audience of people with me on my adventures all over the globe.

Once the beach series took off I couldn’t keep up with the demand and decided it was time to hire an employee and launch a new website where people could shop directly for my photography. I turned to a classmate of mine from ESD who had recently left her corporate job in Los Angeles– and she soon became the head of development for the company. Together we launched the new website, hired interns, developed our first product and signed a deal with my favorite shoe brand, Sperry Topsider to do an artist edition of boat shoes featuring my photographs. So, take a moment to look around because you might end up working with one of your classmates one day!

Naturally the brand began to evolve into more than just a photograph but a larger lifestyle and today there are 15 wonderful team members at the company who I adore to pieces. To date I have shot over 20 bodies of work across 7 continents, published three books and worked on collaborations with some of my favorite brands like Google and Disney and even some of my favorite people like actress Reese Witherspoon and the new Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle.

Though lots has changed, to this day, I still keep the integrity of everything I learned from the flea market when it comes to creating new photography designed to look great inside one’s home. Ironically, I now happen to live on the same street as the entrance to the Flea Market so every Sunday is a nice humble reminder of where I got my start.

I am incredibly grateful for my success that I know could not have been possible without the education I received here at ESD. Since graduating I have learned a few things and wanted to share 10 tips with you all today before you head off to college so listen up!

Number 1. Always be authentic. A lot of people ask me how I became successful and I always tell them it’s because I am authentic. Do not be afraid to be yourself. Each of you is an amazing person and I urge you to always be authentic to who you are.

Number 2. Surround yourself with positive people. Hang out with people you know have a good heart. Education and talent are important, but so is the kindness, patience and positivity of a great colleague or a great friend. Make the effort to maintain the friendships you have— to this day some of my closest friends are the ones I met here.

Number 3. Do not over-share on social media. This is self-explanatory but it's important to remember that what you post is a direct reflection of you, in and outside of the classroom and workspace.

Number 4. Kill them with kindness. Whenever you find yourself in a tricky or frustrating spot, it's always better to take the high road and be a gentleman or a gentlewoman. Be positive and keep focused on what is important rather than getting sucked into the drama.

Number 5. Listen to your peers and your parents. I have learned so much from others, especially when times are tough.Whenever I get in my own head too much, I seek the advice of others, especially my parents.

Number 6. Never be afraid to speak up or reach out. Someone once told me that you cannot wait for doors to open for you, you must knock and open them for yourself.

Number 7. Stay in control of your health. Do not let the stress of a job or of school give you the excuse to lose control of your health. I personally have found I have done better in my career by staying active and keeping my confidence up through a healthy lifestyle.

Number 8. If it does not feel right, don't do it. Your instinct is a powerful tool. Always listen to it and have the courage to do what feels right.

Number 9.Travel and Study Abroad. With College ahead of you I encourage all of you to take advantage of a study abroad program. My time studying abroad in college opened my eyes to so many new things and it was one of the most wonderful experiences I had– it even helped shape my future career.

Number 10. Do Not Rush College. If I could go back I would have allowed myself more time to enjoy college rather than being in such a rush to graduate early. You should live the next four years of your lives to the fullest—enjoy every moment you can.

With this said, I am so honored to be welcomed back to the place that gave me the ability to start it all and cannot thank the Episcopal School of Dallas enough for having me here today. I am living proof that you can follow your dreams and turn your greatest passion into a career one day.

Wishing the class of 2018 all the best as they graduate today and remember to always - be - yourself!

Cheers,

xx

GM